Cutting through Layers of Conceptualization

The following is the feedback from Dr Ankur Kumar describing the effects of his recent retreat in Cabo de Rama, in Goa.  In sharing his experiences he indirectly demonstrates how NadiPrana is designed to peel layer after layer of mental and emotional conceptualizations.  After the letting go of the first resistance, he immediately experienced another layer coming up on day 6 and 7 of the retreat, in order to be felt and integrated.  This is actually quite normal  In his own words:

"The apparent objective was that this retreat would be a 'precursor' to the longer individual retreat to follow - to enable the body to 'sit' for longer periods, and for the mind to 'quieten down', for the same purpose.  I knew from my previous NadiPrana retreat that this would be one of the benefits."

"The other less obvious but paramount motivation came from the inkling, again from previous experience albeit limited, that NadiPrana offers a unique opportunity for self-exploration and nurturing awareness to its highest potential."

"As soon as the retreat began, barring a meek resistance, the body was happy to engage and the mind happy to settle as if into its own nature.  However, the fear of a particular exercise remained largely unexplored due to my own lack of will, despite the instructions/suggestions to engage with 'decisiveness, dedication and relaxed focus'.  The curiously interesting thing of note, here, was that what was a 'difficult' or 'challenging' exercise for me, turned out to be a simple or even enjoyable posture for others, and vice versa. This possibly points to the different set of resistance patterns, emotions and/or blockages each person has: a unique bundle of stuckness."

There was a palpable flow of energy in several exercises - energy in the form of heat, tingling, gross bodily movements, or an inner massage, emotions or simply 'energy' too subtle to be put into words.  The stillness and feeling of bliss that followed after each exercise (usually when sitting down & feeling after the completion of the posture) felt completely uncontrived. Waves of energy, quite pleasurable at times, arose and settled." 

The stillness was of an unusual kind, hard to describe.  It was not mental dullness or fogginess - the mind was alert, yet at the same time very calm.  Sense perception had a different than usual quality.  Thoughts became more 'transparent', often a distant configuration of 'proto-ideas'.  Day 3-5 of the retreat were the most enjoyable, most easy, blissful even - with episodes of stillness merging into each other, to gradually fade into a space beyond words - or into unconscious babble, which was tantamount to an escape from directly noticing and feeling what was actually going on."

"Then came day 6 & 7, which marked a sharp return to a resistance to feeling anything at all, as well as an onslaught of emotions, which I labeled 'negative' because they brought up unpleasant memories and hurts from the past."

Dr. Ankur Kumar has been a student of Buddhist Yoga and Buddhism since 2005.  He took refuge with Nagchang Choyin Dorje in 2006, and since then, has also been a student of the late Kunzang Dorje Rinpoche, as well as Acharya Dawa Chhodak Rinpoche, both in Nepal and India.  He works as a registrar for anesthesia in a hospital in Perth.  He follows the path of a householder yogi.